Open and Relaxed Is Not Weak: A Balanced Approach to Yoga and Life

There’s a misunderstanding in modern yoga culture: that being open and relaxed means becoming passive, floppy, or fragile. A kind of dreamy glow where firm

ness is judged as ego and collapse is mistaken for peace. It isn’t. Openness is not weakness.Relaxation is not collapse.Softness is not the absence of backbone.

Fragility is not spiritual depth.Being overwhelmed is not sensitivity.

To be truly open is to be fully present without being knocked over by the moment.To be truly relaxed is to be steady, unbraced, awake, and responsive.

Softness without strength collapses.Strength without softness armours.

The work of yoga is learning to hold both.

True Openness

Openness does not mean taking in everything around you. It does not mean becoming porous to every influence or feeling. It does not mean abandoning boundaries. Openness means staying present and aware while still choosing wisely. It means feeling life fully without losing yourself in the process. It means awareness with agency, not vulnerability without defences.

True openness is alertness and discernment. It is the ability to stay connected without needing to retreat or guard.

True Relaxation

Relaxation is not the same as going limp or turning off inside.

True relaxation means there is no unnecessary effort. The breath is smooth.The mind is clear and steady. The nervous system is at ease without being dull or sleepy.

Relaxation is clarity without tension. It is stability without gripping.

When you meet life without bracing, you are relaxed in the deepest sense.

Strength Creates Softness

There is a softness that comes from collapse.That is not softness — it is withdrawal from life.

Real softness arises when you feel safe enough not to defend.

Someone once asked why I want to learn how to fight, as if it were an outdated or macho impulse. My answer was simple: When I know I can defend myself, my heart can stay open. Of course this is personal to me, but it illustrates the relationship between softeness and strength. The most compassionate people I know are often those who feel capable and confident. They do not have to armour themselves because they trust themselves. Strength allows kindness to flow more freely. Security creates space for empathy. Power, held responsibly, makes softness natural. It is difficult to be compassionate when one feels insecure.

A Lesson From My Own Body

"Softness without strength collapses.Strength without softness breaks. Yoga is the union that makes both possible."

For two years, I experienced a nervous irritation down the right side of my body. I practiced stretching, meditation, breathwork, bodywork, and forms of softening. Nothing changed.

Then I realised something essential: the tension was not the issue.The weakness beneath the tension was the issue. My body was bracing because it felt unsupported.

So I shifted my practice.I introduced strength.Calisthenics, load-bearing yoga, muscular control, slow effort, conscious physical intensity.

Within weeks, the symptoms eased. Eventually, they disappeared completely.

I lost a little flexibility and gained something far more valuable: balance, stability, confidence, ease. My body could finally relax because it finally felt safe.

A body does not soften when it feels fragile. It softens when it feels capable.

The same is true for the mind and heart.

Sensitivity vs Oversensitivity

True sensitivity is the capacity to feel subtlety and beauty without collapsing under its weight. It is the ability to remain open while holding your ground.

Oversensitivity is a nervous system that cannot yet hold what it perceives. It reacts instead of responds. It requires life to shrink in order to feel safe. Yoga trains sensitivity that is rooted in strength, not fragility. Awareness that does not fear intensity. Tenderness that can stand on its own feet.

Strength and Softness Together

To be open and relaxed in yoga is to cultivate steady physical support, emotional endurance, mental clarity, and nervous system capacity.

This is not sentimental softness.This is earned softness. It takes practice. It takes consistency. It takes training the body and the breath to remain steady while sensation moves through.

Softness without strength collapses.Strength without softness breaks. Yoga is the union that makes both possible.

A Daily Reflection

Ask yourself: Where do I collapse instead of softening? Where do I brace instead of grounding? Where do I avoid sensation rather than learn to hold it? What would it feel like to be soft enough to feel and strong enough to stay?

These questions are the heart of practice. Not escaping life, but becoming capable of meeting life.

Being open and relaxed is not drifting into dreaminess or abandoning yourself.It is presence without fear.It is softness held by strength. It is strength softened by wisdom.

The most open hearts are anchored by strong backbones. The most grounded bodies breathe with ease because they do not need to defend themselves.

This is not fragility disguised as spirituality. This is not collapse disguised as surrender. This is balance; this is integrity; this is Yoga.